losing his eyebrow and my fish hook

So, those of you who have children know that sleeping and night time do not always coincide.  As of late, Warrick has woken in the night completely traumatized by the very real dreams (I assume, as these are not real situations) he is having.  This particular dream is one I so so so very much wish I could actually act out for you.  But alas, you are here and I am there.

I am in the kitchen cleaning up and hear the beginnings of drama from the other end of the house.  Brett goes to rescue him and I listen from where I am.  "WHERE IS IT?"  crying.  panicking.  "WHERE IS THE OTHER ONE?"  "I CAN'T FEEL IT OVER HERE."  more crying.  more panicking.  I hear Brett's calming voice and then, "WHERE'S MY OTHER EYEBROW?"  immediately I turn off the water and put down the dishes.  I gotta hear this.  This is hilarious.  Already thankful it's dark so I can hide the fact that I'm laughing at him.  I'm so sorry . . . . but sometimes you just really cannot empathize.  I go in and kneel by my husband at the side of the bed.  Warrick is sitting on his folded knees in the dark, completely distraught and searching, feeling, pulling at his forehead in search of the eyebrow that seems to have gone away. I squint in the dark at Brett's face to see if he finds it as funny as I do.  Thankful that I am not alone, I steady my voice to help our son rediscover the eyebrow that has been there all along.  Sweet dreams Sonny. 

My second funny thing was actually a lesson to me in how much I still want to explain myself to strangers should they find my behavior abnormal.  I was in Kansas City for a funeral.  The night before, in the shower, I got my washcloth caught on my nose stud and then accidentally ripped it right out of my nose.  You are lucky, in this situation, if you are not in too much pain.  You are magical if you actually find it again.  I am not magical.

I don't have a replacement stud but really want to keep my piercing and so begin the search in my mom's bathroom for something to hold the space.  Unfortunately, she's like me - we like dangling earrings instead of tiny hoops.  My hair is drying and that's bad for curly haired girls if you haven't put any product in, so I grab a random dangly for the time being.  Black square dangly covered in rhinestones.  It's going nuts as I lotion up and get my hair tamed.  Definitely not going to be able to sleep without an injury.  Try another earring, no better luck.  Eventually dismantle the hook part from one of my less fav earrings and try that out.  The poky end comes aggressivly through my nostril and the other part sticks straight out across my cheek.  Now, I realize that little piece of your earring often goes unnoticed when it's in your ear, but sweet friends, when it's in your nose, it looks like you had a serious fishing accident.

Have to drop my dad off at work and end up meeting his pastor while he is making crosses out of wood.  Shake hands.  "this is not what I usually do, I'm going to get this taken care of next thing."  Unwanted encounter number 1. Second stop in the A.M.  Wal-mart.  Trying hard to be inconspicuous and quick.  Wait in the jewelry department for 10 minutes.  Have to alert someone at check-out in order to get assistance.  Unwanted encounter number 2.  Older woman, on being summoned disgruntledly says, "Well . . . we're right here."  I say, accidentally kind of rudely, "I asked her to.  I've been waiting for a little while here.  Do you have nose studs?"  She notices the issue.  Based on her age, no offense, I'm convinced the hole in my nose, even with a classy tiny stud, is already offensive to her.  Unwanted encounter number 3.  "Well, we have these!"  "Is that it? I'm going to a funeral and obviously do not want to be wearing this."  gesturing at the ridiculous protrusion.  I didn't add that I was not interested in the thick psychedelic ones and was going to a FUNERAL and not a BULL FIGHT.

Have to run home to my parents to pick up both children so my mom can get to an appt.  Target.  Please come through for me Target.  OH . . . the drama.  The tantalizing dollar section.  You have seduced my children again.  Revamp.  Get a cart to contain children.  Trying hard not to treat my kids any differently than normal. Trying really hard not to make eye contact with anyone and hoping to continue to hide under my hair.  We make it to the jewelry section.  A sweet young girl is doing inventory at the counter and looks up at my "Hi."  She immediately starts laughing. Unwanted encounter number 4 "I know.  That's why I'm here.  Please tell me you have nose studs."  She can't stop laughing but is able to tell me that Claire's in the mall should have them.  They open at 10.  Unfortunately 10 is 30 minutes away.  And unfortunately, I actually have some returns to make and some shopping to do. 

At the customer service desk, I place my return items on the belt.  Ooh, I'm so lucky. She doesn't look at my face yet.  She starts scanning.  Asks for me to scan my card and looks up.  and YES, she's seen the fish hook.  "I know.  It fell out in the shower last night and I don't have another one."  "No no no, girl, I know what it is.  I think it's awesome.  I used to make jewelry and I never thought of that. "of course not.  the pitch of her voice continued to get higher.  She's trying so hard to be nice. "well, I'm glad you think this is a good idea.  You are too sweet.  I think it's obnoxious and embarrassing and absolutely not appropriate for a funeral."  She was so sweet about it, also started chuckling a little.  unwanted encounter number 5.

Tried on shoes, purchased hummus and crackers, carrots, two bug catching nets, a thong (no wait, that was a different emergency trip to Target where I brought only black or patterned unders with white jeans to wear to a shower).  Make purchases and finally are closing in on the 10 o'clock mark. Put away cart and try to get my two sweet children to be discreet as they run down the main aisle with me towards Claire's, one waving a blue bug catching net and running it into people's carts and the other one, whose white hair turns heads every where I take her, is dragging and waving her green bug catching net. Unwanted encounter number 6,7,8,9, etc.

Seriously.

Mick Ratliff and the Copper Headless

While you might be thinking this is a radical name for a band, I assure you it is actually a true story. I feel like I've documented my interaction with Mick Ratliff prior to this evening, but it bears being repeated.

We had lived in our home in Chanute but a few weeks when a white city truck came rolling down our driveway. Lucky for us, our shared drive is long and gravelly, so we can hear folks coming for a while - usually even before we see them. It's early and I'm not expecting anyone and don't even know much of anyone yet, so I step onto the front porch to welcome the visitors.

After the appropriate introductions, and I did hold myself back from asking, "Mick Ratliff? . . . that your real name? Are you a bonafide red-neck cause you sure sound like it?" I would soon find out that the question needn't be asked. He was eager to show me himself.

"Came out to fix your light. Noticed it was blinkin' a little bit." Pause. As I wonder how he would know it was blinkin' a little bit. "Actually, I live just over the hill and it's drivin' me nuts, so I'm just gunna fix it fore ya."

"well, don't let me stop you, it's drivin' me nuts too."

After they finish, and jeez, don't I wish I could demonstrate this whole drama for you, Mick Ratliff and the other guy stand in the front yard and here's what unfolds:
Looking down, arms crossed, deliberating - when you know there is still something left to be said. Stares at the yard of small children's outdoor toys and then looks soberly back at his sidekick. "I feel like I oughta tell you this . . . . Oh, maybe I shouldn't. . . . .(long pause for effect) . . . Well . . . . . Do you have little kids? . . . . I don't want to be the one to tell you (looking around and then staring at his feet. Obviously begging me to ask him) . . . . . I hate to tell you this, but we kind of have a bit of a problem out here."
Seriously, the guy deliberated so dramatically, you almost think he might be having spells or something.
I ask, " OK. I'm listening. You have to tell me now." Finally he makes eye contact. I think he didn't want to miss my reaction. After all the build up, I was convinced he wanted me to be terrified.
"We have a bit of a copperhead problem out here." Pause. Are you waiting for me to faint?
"Well . . . what do I need to know? Boots? Shovels? Guns?"
"You probably oughta get a gun."
The week following, I ask some of the neighborhood moms, who have gathered for a brunch to welcome me if they've talked with Mick Ratliff. IMMEDIATELY eyes are rolling and heads are shaking, "Did he drag the copperheads to your house already? You wouldn't have believed the stunt he pulled last spring. 17 dead smelling copperheads in the back of his pick up and he made all the kids in the neighborhood get a good look at them so they would know what to stay away from."
Up until then, none of the moms had ever really seen one. Angie found out later that the "snake" her husband found in the kitchen one day was, in fact, a real live copperhead. But other than that . . . .
This evening, we burned a brush pile in our back tangled jungly woods. I can't say back yard, cause it's just not tame enough for that. While I was carrying over the last of the sticks, what should I meet crawling up the hill next to me?
You got it.
The real deal. Not huge, not angry, not fast, but too close for sure. Brett took care of it while I watched on. The kids were just up the hill obediently sitting on the blanket. We made sure they looked long and hard at it and told them carefully and repeatedly what they needed to do if they ever saw a snake. Brett had been on the phone with his mom and had quickly shoved it in his pocket when I said, "copperhead babe!" She never hung up, listened to the whole thing.
The things you teach your kids when you live in the sticks. Heck, Vera isn't even 2 and thinks it perfectly normal to pee outside. Who knew.

On dying

I know . . . that's a heavy title. And I'm not an expert, obviously. Just been a bit reflective today on this Palm Sunday - thinking about Jesus' choice to surrender to death for me. Weighing in on the implications of it, the reality of how horrible, how gruesome, how betraying and degrading the whole thing was. How phenomenal His love is. How mind boggling. How silencing and confusing.

I cannot do this. Cannot love like this. Cannot love people as they insult me, are unkind to me. I cannot. I cannot comprehend His self-control in His silence. I want my heart and mind to be fully PRESENT this week as we prepare to celebrate Easter. About 8 years ago, my sweet Jesus really changed me. Gave me a tangible hope. Redeemed me in heaps of ways. SAVED me from myself. My response to His resurrection now is much different than it used to be, because He has raised me up too. My redemption is real and I am not who I was . . . this is so worth celebrating to me.

So now, instead of singing calmly, "He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today." I have to restrain myself from throwing my head back, driving my fists in the air and screaming my fullest, purest victory cry. Instead I stand there and my tears start to pour out of every orifice and my nostrils flare and I start sweating. One of these Easters, I will shout a warrior's praise.

My Jesus has conquered what no one else ever will. He has beat death for me. Where O death is your victory? Where O grave, is your sting? Where, Deception, Depression, Defeated and Beat down Woman, is your victory? Where, Hopelessness, Faithlessness, Doubt is your sting?

It's gone. You've been beat. Someone called "My Strength" has fought for me and won.

So tonight, with a fighter rising up in me as I think of Jesus, I think also of my friend, Matt Nagel, who is staring death in the face, whose body is fighting to retain the fullest part of himself, to not suffer loss and I beg Him, O my Strength, to beat death for Matt. To find a way to be glorified without this sweet family suffering any more loss. Jesus, this is not hard for You.

You are the Victor, there is none Stronger than You. And no one loves with Your fierceness. Beat death again in us. Beat out our selfishness, our pride, our doubt. Beat out our sickness and our weakness.

And Lord, whatever broken pieces we carry to the threshold, whatever sufferings, losses, disappointments you allow for us, help us to stand and shout a victor's cry for you STILL.