Dear Vera

I know that often times the second child gets a pretty raw deal. You have to cry a little longer to get me to come after you. You learn to take hits and pushes, defend yourself against flying objects so much younger. Your naps are more often interrupted and you get dropped off here and there so much earlier.

But, I wanted you to hear it from me now, before you get older and these early sentiments get blurry in my mind.

I love who you are already. I ENJOY you. I am eager to know you more and more as you grow, but I enjoy you just as you are now. I love that when you wake up at night, you don't see any real reason to cry loudly about it. You just let me know you're up. Last night, even, you just wanted to hear your own voice for a bit. I treasure your sweet little noises and love chatting with you. I love your pretty blue eyes and your feminine nose. I love how God has put you together and I am excited to watch your personality unfold. I love holding you and feeling your fuzzy little head under my chin.

I know there will be many days that I will most certainly NOT be your favorite person in the world. I anticipate you will find me annoying and difficult and think my boundaries and logic for you are anciently ridiculous. (Even though, I pray your spirit will see the truth . . . even when I don't. God help me be humble enough to hear it from you.) But I want you to always be absolutely convinced that I love you.

We were chatting just yesterday and I called you "little sister" as I often do. For whatever reason, it pierced me as the reality. You are mine, but not really. I am another woman, searching to understand and believe God - to have confidence in the way He has made me. I know you will be the same. I'm certain you will look for God in different ways and will wrestle with different insecurities, but really, I'm just walking a few steps ahead of you. You are His.

I hope and pray, as you fall in step, that I am travelling in the purest, most beautiful, painfully truthful path and that following me . . . looking to me as an example of what a woman is . . . will be a good idea for you.